Along the West Highland Way :: Video & Images

Posted in Overheard Utterances on June 12th, 2008
by O. Quimby Melton

West Highland Way

From May 20-June 3rd, my friends David and Tim and I were in Scotland where we hiked the 95 mile West Highland Way between Milngavie and Ft. William. I posted 30 of the 1500+ pictures we took on my Facebook profile.

The operative word here is “my” so if the images seem a little me-focused, that’s why. I have others, many others if anyone is interested in reviewing the topography of the lowlands and highlands, the development of the trail, and/or any of the wild-n-crazy things we did along our way. Just contact me if you’d like to see more images (as you prepare for your own WHW adventure, for example).

We also shot a video (174.3mb | 00:46:04) which I, under the banner of Studio Hyperset, edited and posted here for the viewing pleasure of interested parties.

Install Adobe’s Flash Player to watch this video.

And if you, in fact, found this posting in preparation for tackling the WHW yourself, four little tips from me to you:

1) Even in late May, it was colder than St. Theresa’s underpants.

2) The midge flies you may have read about are real and brutal, and they ate up our Deet-based repellents like mama’s poundcake. Make sure you take a mesh covered refuge and some long pants, gloves, and shirtsleeves and pray for strong wind. This last one was really the only effective defense we found against the little devils. I also got hit by several ticks, fyi, but sent those bloodsuckers back to hell with tweezers and a lighter!

3) The trail is covered in jagged chunks of granite so make sure your shoes have good soles. Two of us were in sneakers; and by day three, we were feeling every spike along every step ’til Ft. Bill.

4) We got really lucky with the weather. It was more or less dry and sunny the first part of the trip and dry and cloudy the second. We did walk one day in a heavy rain, though, and our whole trip could have been like this. In fact, everyone we met (Scots and Brits exclusively) commented on how rarefied the weather was. Thus, make sure you take high quality rain gear, waterproof bags, some sort of water repellent structure, &tc. We were very, very unhappy on the day we slogged through the downpour (and wound up crashing in a hostel) so I can only imagine how bad morale would have been had our entire trip been rainy.

With these caveats, though, I highly recommend the trail. The people were amazing and the scenery spectacular. Also, walking the Way, one gets a real sense of how rugged the Scottish highlands actually are. This puts all sorts of things into focus, namely, how resourceful the historical Highlanders must have been and what a difficult task the English faced in their attempts to subjugate them.

Moreover, it was fascinating to experience long-distance travel on a Medieval scale. Out in the wilds, so many hoary metaphors about long, winding, and rocky roads finally made sense; literary places like Gawain’s Wilderness of Wirral and the Brontës’ moors never seemed so real; and the threat of brigands and highwaymen lurking in the supernaturally dark forests seemed eerily immediate.

‘Techno’: A Vindication

Posted in Cultural Commentary on April 5th, 2008
by O. Quimby Melton

I love techno

At first, I was in denial about it, trying to convince myself I didn’t really like techno and that I was a grunger like all the other boys. If it got out that I was a wannabe Continental dandy who listened to German trance and trip hop, I would be ruined. This was in college in the late 90s. We were all getting laid and having parties, and I saw no reason to rock the boat with my aberrant musical tastes. Why slip a ten minute trance track into an hour long Pearl Jam set at a party and risk running off the Southern Belles? Why push cosmopolitanism and risk alienating the group when provincialism guaranteed a good time?

Later, I was in the closet about it. This was when I first moved to Vegas for graduate school and discovered the “Electronic” section of the iTunes radio directory. I’d really only flirted with techno before this. You see, I grew up in Georgia and went to the state U in Athens so alt rock, country, jam bands, and the like pervaded our musical aether. REM, Drivin’ n Cryin’, and Widespread Panic were gods, and Alice and Chains and Soundgarden might as well have been “Seattle Southerners.” David Allan Coe and Charlie Daniels made frequent stops at the Georgia Theatre, and Johnny Cash was a grandfather god. As a result, I really wasn’t exposed to all that much techno save a Robert Miles CD I picked up (Christ knows where … ) and the lame dance club remixes of top 40 hits I heard pouring out of the clubs in Athens and Atlanta. My family, though, made periodic trips to Europe. And thanks to a traveler on a North Sea ferry, who had a tape deck strapped to his pack and played “One Day” for us all one morning as we alighted Dutch soil, I knew about Bjork. And there was Kraftwerk from my buddy David and Tricky from the sexy Honduran girl who lived down the hall from me and somehow these happy few let me know where my true musical interests lay. iTunes radio helped broaden my exposure significantly; but as I suggest, I was still in the closet.

Married when I first moved out West, I would listen to iTunes’ various “Electronic” stations while my exwife watched TV downstairs or after she’d gone to bed. Were she ever to enter the office (or were I to hear her rise from bed or walk up the stairs), I’d immediately mute the computer or, if I had enough time, shut down iTunes. Like most everything in our relationship, this too was based on deception. And I of course didn’t talk to our friends about my interests or think to buy techno CDs from Amazon. I just listened to NPR in my car, which I still do and still love, and snuck a few hits of electronica when I could.

Moreover, the iTunes radio stations were themselves problematic. Many of them underground entities, their streams were usually crap. And those that weren’t necessarily crap seemed to periodically, and unpredictably, shut down. (I have no idea what the state of such things is now.) Moreover, I was still on dial-up until 2005 so my own connection issues compounded the problem significantly. As a result of my closetedness and these technical difficulties, it really wasn’t until I discovered XM satellite radio in 2006 that I embraced my musical tastes and felt empowered enough to do so openly (read: “roll my windows down in my car whilst listening to techno”).

So now I’m out and loving every minute of it, as they say. Thanks to XM 81 (BPM), 82 (The System), and 84 (Chill), I have a steady stream of new remixes, trance, and downtempo to enjoy at home and on the road. I even buy a few tracks now and then using iTunes and subscribe to numerous podcasts by Tiësto, Above and Beyond, and Armin van Buuren. With the impending XM-Sirius merger, I have high hopes for even more offerings in the future.

However, needless to say most Americans don’t share my enthusiasm for the genre of music most commonly lumped under the problematically finalized heading “techno” or “electronica.” Folks I know look on it as disposable, drug-infested, Eurotrashy, repetitive, and as a specialty genre they’ll tolerate (and even enjoy) in the clubs but never listen to at home, in the car, or with friends. Even the popularity of hip hop, which has supplanted rock in the current culture, hasn’t done anything to popularize “techno” in the US. This has really surprised me.
HIP HOP : TECHNO :: ROCK : JAZZ … so where’s the love?
Hip hop and “techno” are both production-oriented genres built around sampling, beats, and the manipulation of studio arts. Both are controlled (and created) by professional mixers and digital engineers such as DJs and A-list Producers like Timbaland and Eminem. Certainly, there are hip hop and DJ “performances,” but the “magic” of these genres comes out of the private studio rather than the public arena. Put another way, techno and hip hop tracks are primarily created in the studio and then brought out to the audience. Rock and roll is much different. The practitioners of that genre seem primarily focused on touring and performance and only reluctantly enter the studio cloister at the demands of their label and/or because of the realities of the marketplace.

In this way, rock and roll, like jazz, is “freer” and more public than hip hop and techno. Being performance- and performer-based, jazz and rock achieve their most profound expression — their own sense of “magic” — in live shows and via theatrical flourishes and musical improvisation. Rock and jazz performers also express themselves on traditional Western instruments that are merely evolutions of Medieval horns and lutes. The same can’t be said of the turntables, mixers, and various forms of electronic equipment employed by techno DJs and hip hop producers: equipment that seems hopelessly and inescapably modern.

Certainly, the anti-authoritarian themes, pervasive machismo, and commanding “loudness” of both hip hop and rock and roll help explain why a redneck fan of Metallica, AC/DC, and System of a Down enjoys Snoop Dogg and Ice-T (and why a brother from Compton might move in the opposite direction). This also helps explain why the rock audience has moved, nearly en masse, toward hip hop in the current pop music moment. In other words, while rock and hip hop are different in terms of racial associations, presentation, and general sound, folks could reasonably be, and in fact are, drawn to both genres in search of similar themes. I can’t understand, tough, why the profound similarities between hip hop and techno music don’t create similar bridges between these two genres and create trance and downtempo fans of us all. The two are so close, they could even be considered familial in the way rock and the blues are. And if rock folks are willing to give hip hop a try, why not techno?

Life Inside and Outside the Discotheque
For my part, I blame cultural ignorance and associative prejudice. To address the latter, Americans will, as I suggest, listen to and enjoy various sorts of techno in clubs but not outside these hedonistic spaces. Beyond all the associations with Europe and criticisms of the music’s repetition (which I will address momentarily), I suspect Americans primarily don’t like techno because of its association with club life.

In the US, we associate electronic music with dark nights spent grinding against each other, ingesting drugs, drinking to excess, momentary bisexuality, gender bending, and neon light shows. Like my beloved Las Vegas, clubs are recreational spaces where we take leave of the everyday; and even the most “boring” accountant becomes a party animal. When we’re not in a club (like when we’re not in Vegas: that place where everything stays), we can convince ourselves what we did there didn’t happen because these places differ so radically from insurance offices, restaurants, churches, and most of our homes. And in this Protestant-forged, middle class everyday, I’m not sure we could function without this illusion (nor could we function without the carnival spaces where we let loose and blow off the steam that builds up within our bourgeois lives). Thus, the college girl who will make out with her best girlfriend, grind her thong-clad ass against a perfect stranger, and ingest liters of tequila shooters in a club on Saturday also has to work on Monday in a respectable WASPy office place. Listening to techno outside the club in her “everyday” life brings the two parts of her reality into collision and results in discomfort and embarrassment. It would be the same if she went home and snorted coke, felt up her roommate, or did a tequila shot. Those activities are “club” things unfit for the ‘burbs.

Of course, the ignorance surrounding Americans’ (mis)perception of techno is inextricable from this associative prejudice. In one’s sober, “upstanding” moments, why would one take the time to learn about something s/he associates with vice? (At home with the kids on some random Tuesday night, who spends time thinking about what it means to do a body shot?) And in one’s less sober moments — immersed in the music of the decadent club space, critical faculties mercifully dulled by chemicals — how can one properly appreciate and cognitively analyze what’s going on around him/her? Recognizing patterns within and forming theses about the larger cultural meaning of something like a music genre would be nearly impossible or, if attempted, fall on ears dulled by opiates and filled with bass.

‘Techno’: Definition, Explication, and Justification
I really wanted avoid setting down a bunch of authoritarian-sounding reasons why folks should like “techno” and what makes it great. Unfortunately, this is a really wonderful and direct way to get one’s point across. Plus, it’s not as if folks don’t give me a bunch of authoritarian-sounding reasons why techno sucks and why I should instead listen to rock/rap star x instead. So here goes. Following is a list of reasons why techno is great, some counters to common arguments levied against it, and suggestions for how one can learn to appreciate it (or despise it) in a more informed manner.

1) Common Arguments
:: It’s disposable music
I agree totally. Techno is often like bubble gum in that it looses its flavor quickly. So don’t buy it. Subscribe to podcasts; listen to the radio; go to clubs where it’s played. Just enjoy the music and the freedom it offers one to break the chains that usually bind customer and music merchant. Just immerse yourself in it without worrying about buying every track you hear that you like. This isn’t Top 40 land after all.

:: I don’t go to clubs/I hate dancing
Neither do I and so do I. If for no other reason than the association I mention, it’s best to break one’s sense that techno can’t exist outside the club space. It can. Unlike disco which — because of its drug-fueled enthusiasm, primary dance function, and fashion associations — can’t really exist without the lame, polyester generation attached to it, techo can comfortably exist at the gym, on long car rides, and as background music during work. Some of it’s even timeless. If you treat your particular brand of techno like every other bit of music you have, you’ll see that it’s no more linked to the club than rock is to the stadium. Both are just venues where the music is performed. Nothing more.
2) Types
Don’t confuse Top 40 remixes with techno. Most of what one hears in a club are remixes: some songs you’ve heard a thousand times on the local hits station layered with extra quarter notes. I think that stuff sucks too. Personally, I’m into trance, trip hop, and acid jazz. I hate house and won’t abide new age.

Here’s a list of different types of electronic music. Familiarize yourself with the general styles rather than the precise “subgenres” (because the subgenres bleed into one another quite readily), find one you like, and embrace it. There’s lots of great music out there in every style. And usually, especially in the US, the cultures are small so you’ll make friends, find the superstars, and get a sense of the style pretty quickly.

3) Techno’s appeal
:: No cult of the artist
Certainly, there are superstar DJs; and within club culture, there is a sense of DJ as artiste. Nevertheless, even this differs radically from the ways rock music expects its audience to get caught up in the charisma of a lead singer idol or guitar hero. We’re supposed to hang on his/her every word/note like penitents receiving communion or audience members at a play. No thanks! Rock is supposed to be subversive; but in practice, it’s often very authoritarian, playing as it does into the Romantic cult of the artist forcing his expressions onto a captive and adoring audience.

In techno, the music stands rather firmly between DJ/Producer and audience, I think. There is an indirect relationship between the two that keeps the egos of everyone involved in check. Ultimately, the music stands above deliverer and receiver, everyone subaltern and existing under it. In the case of remixes and sample tracks, the DJ simply acts as compiler: a role significantly less endowed with awe than the god-like artist-creator who makes artifacts ex nihilo. At the very least, in techno, audiences are consistently less ga-ga over the DJ than rock audiences are with respect to their silly narcissists in leather pants. I mean, when was the last time you heard someone yell, “Kill the lead singer?” Crying out “Kill the DJ,” a club audience feels strongly that one of their own can replace the man on the decks. Such a revolutionary spirit and revolving authority doesn’t always exist within the captive rock audience.

:: Micro-level repetition, macro-level diversity
The musical forms grouped under the header “techno” are actually incredibly diverse. While each song can be repetitive and/or develop slowly and patiently, very few are alike. The beats and samples and relative lack of prescribed form make techno music extremely heterogeneous. Very few songs “sound alike” unlike in rock and Top 40 music where almost all the songs follow a verse-chorus-verse pattern limited to 4-5 chords. Thus, while each individual techno song may sound repetitive, minimal, and (to the untrained ear) “the same as all the rest,” one would be wiser to lodge this complaint against rock and pop music. While rock stagnates in its brittle prescriptions, then, techno has the power to liberate its fans from silly verse-chorus-verse patterns and from endless love lyrics (because so many techno songs have no lyrics anyway). Again, there will be exceptions to this, and many dance tracks are just rock songs with more beats per measure. But on the whole, techno is repetitive only on the individual song level. As a genre, it’s peerlessly variegated.

:: Delayed gratification
One thing I learned very well while living in France is that the Europeans love delayed gratification. I think they like it even more than the gratification itself. Their entire daily lives build to food and drink (and “other” things) even as these are tantalizingly around them all the time. This differs quite significantly from the US where we indulge that which surrounds us almost constantly. We like instant gratification, as the criticism often goes. Identifiably European, delayed gratification exists profoundly within interesting remixes, those ubiquitous tracks a DJ snatches from the airwaves and incorporates into his set in an inventive manner. This explains why many Americans probably don’t like these remixes even as they respond well to (and buy) the kinds I’ve criticized elsewhere in this post: those more like rock music than techno.

Here’s how this works. The audience knows the ins and outs of a particular song because Clear Channel, &tc. has spent the last season ramming it down their throats on the radio, in movies, and in restaurants. Such songs invariably operate around instant gratification. “Bubble-gum Pop”, you see, is more than just a clichéd metaphor for them. These songs get through the first verse fast and hit the hook and chorus hard. Here, I’m referring to those tune phrases by Fergie and Britney Spears that you hear and can’t get out of your head for a week. “Earworms” they’re sometimes called.

Now the DJ knows folks want to hear the hook or the chorus but s/he toys with the audience, tantalizing them with the idea that it may soon appear. Lesser DJs simply indulge their audiences and create the types of lame remixes I’ve expressed my distaste for. Good ones, though, build tension as they delay the appearance of, and yet hint at the presence of, these hooks and choruses. Some never even gratify the desires of the audience, and this always leaves me feeling frustrated. Nevertheless, the act of toying with the hook/chorus and then finally releasing it on us creates an electric atmosphere and a sense of communal indulgence. Obviously, this works only for one type of techno, but it’s an interesting aspect of remixes that both explains why Americans don’t generally like progressive house (outside a club) and why, simultaneously, it can be so much fun for the initiated.
Final Suggestions
Though I realize techno is radically diverse and that my tastes tend toward trance and downtempo, here are some names for those who might be interested in getting better acquainted with “electronic” music. Each name is linked to the artist/group’s profile in iTunes, where possible, and to the artist/groups homepage or Wikipedia entry otherwise.

Close Reading Pastor Melissa Scott

Posted in WTF?, Cultural Commentary on March 21st, 2008
by O. Quimby Melton

Pastor Melissa Scott

So I’m a night owl. At midnight every night I get a wave of energy that carries me through til 5am. Sometimes I force myself to sleep earlier, but this is the natural rhythm I was born with. 5am-11am is sleep time; the rest is for work and play. This biological scheduling means I’ve caught a fair amount of “subprime” T.V., most if it worthless (naturally). Sometimes, though, I come across something really interesting and unexpected, something I feel is both perfect for and yet unfortunately wasted on us mole-eyed night folk.

Pastor Melissa Scott’s show is at the top of this list. Hell, for the sake of this post, I’ll give it the pole position.

Here in Las Vegas, Scott’s show comes on Friday mornings at 1am on Cox Cable channel 51. (I’d love to know when and on what channel it shows where you are. It’s worth looking in to.) Listings identify this channel as “IONSATP” which is an indecipherable acronym as far as I can tell. (”Ion Satellite P-something-or- other”?) The channel runs a mixture of paid programming 24 hours a day, mostly infomercials and religious ministries. This programing schedule might initially seem hodgepodge and even a little contradictory. However, it actually confirms something American Protestantism has long espoused: the worship of the Good Lord isn’t easily separated from commercial culture. Wasn’t it the Founding Fathers, after all, who rallied behind the cry, “Free markets, free worship, sweet Jesus let’s purchase!”? Maybe it was the suburban soccer moms.

In any case, being a good American means being a good (non-Papist) Christian; being a good Christian and a good American means helping your fellow citizen; helping your fellow citizen means buying his/her goods or services (even if you don’t really need them); buying your fellow citizen’s goods and/or services helps him/her and therefore makes you both a good American and a good Christian.

This absurdly general, albeit apt, circularity helps normalize and situate IONSATP’s otherwise hodgepodge (and even contradictory) programming schedule. It’s merely a manifestation of a cornerstone belief of bourgeois American WASPS: a comfortable correlation exists between rendering shekels to commerce and to the church. Both are religio-civic duties. After all, close reading IONSATP’s schedule tells us it’s perfectly reasonable to expect a citizen will (financially) support evangelical ministries in one bloc and an up-and-coming inventor of consumer goods in the next. IONSATP wouldn’t do so if it wasn’t commercially viable, i.e. if it didn’t command an audience. This allows man and his maker to mix in a multimedia church that preaches the Good News (for a fee) and sells the products and services of honest citizens. It also suggests everything, even God, has a price and a commodity value in the airtime sector of the American marketplace.

But ostensibly, this post isn’t about close reading Cox Cable channel 51. It’s about close reading that pastoral fox Melissa Scott. My digression, my bad.

I first discovered Pastor Scott late one night a few months ago. Flipping around after most decent folks had long since retired, I came across this lovely young woman earnestly dissecting ancient Greek on a whiteboard. It was more of a canvas really, with a messy, expressionistic blend of colors and symbols, lines and digressions, diacritical marks and underlines. This kind of thing is a dream for a fallen-away academic like myself. How could I not be seduced? Moreover, her style of presentation is part performance art, part close reading, part linguistic explication, part erudite professorial lecture. About the last thing it is is a sermon, especially if a “sermon” is what those chubby, moronic white guys who usually fulfill the televangelist role deliver. No. This was a revelation.

You see, I’ve only really wanted to be (in the professionally ontological sense of the word) three things in my life, all of them callings, all of them lifestyles: an English professor, a writer, and a preacher. The social reality of the first drove me in other directions after grad school, and I write this blog and several unpurchased screenplays to indulge the second. (Here’s to dreaming big and shooting high!!!) The third’s more complicated; but once I lost the last shreds of my faith early in college, what was the point of seminary? Pastor Scott’s show, though, scratches two of my itches: the academic one and the residual religious one. I mean, there she is: explaining theology to people in a rational, literary-linguistic way. An academic way. Like a seminarian loosed to the masses, she mesmerizes people with knowledge and history. She doesn’t use fury or fervor. She doesn’t resort to silly acts of “witness.” She doesn’t theatrically lay-hands on folks. Instead, she just teaches them. And it’s sexy as all get out.

Of course, it’s all just a gimmick. Hers is better than most of the ones televangelists use, but its still just a gimmick. She makes millions of dollars doing this which is actually, oddly enough, simply an act of carrying on the preaching style of her late husband Dr. Eugene Scott. The white boards, the real-time linguistic close readings, the academic stylings - he did this for years, apparently. Interesting, isn’t it, that there would be two people in the world who a) could move effortlessly between multiple languages (I’ve seen her navigate Latin and Greek and at least three Romance languages in addition to English), b) were religiously-motivated and lecture-oriented, and c) found each other. Miracles of coincidence are just that, but damn are they spooky.

Of course, she may have been driven to master such things after she connected with Dr. Scott in the mid-90s in an attempt to escape a former lifestyle. I used the adjective “sexy” earlier, and this is more than accidental. You see, in addition to being pretty good looking, Pastor Scott apparently started her professional life as a porn star. That’s the rumor on the internet, anyway: here, here, and here. (And of course you’d want pictures like this one, this one, and this one.)

I have no idea, of course, if any of this is true, but it’s all wildly engaging, and this page contains some pretty compelling evidence that Pastor Scott and “Barbie Bridges,” adult film queen, are the same person. (I know it’s some sort of Howard Stern site, but wouldn’t he be the one to know about this sort of thing?)

And I thought my penchant for late nights was a cross to bear.

At least she’s in L.A., though, at the Los Angeles University Cathedral (which was once a movie house and still looks like one). I mean, can you imagine her reception in Texas? And that’s just with the intellectual edge! The porn past would certainly not help matters.

I suppose it says something, though, that even with a past her parishioners would likely disdain and a cover-up job that seems as remarkable as it does sketchy (there’s no Wikipedia entry on her, for example), I actually came to this post wanting to discuss her unique preaching style and her engaging literariness. I didn’t even know about the alleged porn past until I tried to find an image of her to illustrate this post and was shocked at what came up. I mean, even if she’s continuing to get rich off the ministry (as her husband seems to have done), her style is engaging. Again, it’s a identifiable gimmick, an attempt to be unique (as a woman and as a pedant rather than as an emotional male evangelist), but it’s convincing. I stop, I watch, I learn. I feel I’m attending that seminary lecture I never got to enjoy.

I guess we can all laugh about the allegations of an incongruous past and prickle at the money being generated. But at least Pastor Scott isn’t insulting us. At least she’s teaching us through admirable close reading and linguistic analysis. At least her broadcast has more in common with a legitimate seminary lesson than a carnival side show (which I’d compare most televangelist broadcasts to). The porn past will certainly complicate my perception of the show in the future, but I’m pretty sure it won’t distract me. Rather, I feel certain I’ll be continually enthralled, watching her steadily fill up that white board, engaging in the sort of meticulous linguistic and textual analysis one usually sees in the work of Derrida and Erich Auerbach. Like a kitchen worker wringing a sponge down to the last drop, she analyzes a four line passage for nearly an hour. As an old English major, I know just how hard it is to do that.

So if I were ever again to financially support theological insight, I would send money to Pastor Scott to support her uniquely unapologetic application of history and linguistics to the tradition of Judeo-Christian scripture. And if anyone who reads this is more inclined than I to regularly support the mass media dissemination of the Good News, send it to Mrs. Scott. She’s educating you, not pandering to you or scaring you. Of the available options, she’s most worthy of keeping on the air if for no other reason than there’s nothing else good on Friday mornings at 1:00.

Helvetica Soundtrack

Posted in General Blogarrhea on November 26th, 2007
by O. Quimby Melton

Helvetica: A Documentary Film by Gary Hustwit

If indeed one accepts it as an opposition (as folks have done for centuries), the great binary of my life has to be that between text and the graphic. It defines my interests as a human being; and as an English-lit-PhD-turned-hypermedia-developer, I suppose my professional life speaks for itself. Specifically, I suppose there is no more direct illustration of the visuality of text and the textuality of the graphic than that offered by typefaces. Echoing Gertrude Stein’s famous and delightfully nerdy proclamation “I really do not know anything that has ever been more exciting than diagramming sentences,” I myself really don’t know anything that’s as exciting as typography. Chuckle as you will.

So of course I was interested in this: Helvetica: a documentary film by Gary Hustwit. I just watched it, in fact. The film is wonderfully done and makes me even more eager to run out and buy Adobe’s Font Folio 11 and browse the contemporary versions of historical typography, typing “ABC … ” and “The lazy brown fox … ” over and over and over again, checking serifs and ascenders, looking at 26+ x 26+ permutations of adjacent letters and characters, making up words, fantasizing about the genius of Cy Twombly, flipping the letters and words around like a child his/her wooden blocks, reveling in the materiality of words divorced from syntax, loving the tension of my mind not letting semantic meaning go and my attempts to force it to do so, and generally carrying on like a mad Aldo Manuzio taken from his metal type and set in front of a MacBook. For this, $2.5K is money well spent.

In addition to the wonderful filmmaking, one thing folks are chattering about with respect to the film is its soundtrack. I can’t find it available in either iTunes or Amazon or via any sort of Torrents so that likely means the soundtrack itself hasn’t been/won’t be released as a commercial entity in its own right. This is a shame. The film’s music is as hip, ambient, cool, and current as the font it analyzes. Scouring the web and even the official movie site, I couldn’t even find a list of individual songs played in the move. Doing my part to fill the internet well from which I myself so often draw, here’s the list of songs and artists listed in Helvetica’s credits. I know I’m not the only one looking for this.

:: “Thinking Loudly” - El Ten Eleven
:: “Lorge” - El Ten Eleven
:: “Meow” - Motohiro Nakashima
:: “Helvetica 2″ - Kim Hiorthøy
:: “Every Direction is North” - El Ten Eleven
:: “Seqy Chords 3″ - Sam Prekop
:: “Central Nervous Pister” - El Ten Eleven
:: “IPT2″ - Battles
:: “My Only Swerving” - El Ten Eleven
:: “Helvetica 9″ - Kim Hiorthøy
:: “Tunnel Chrome” - Chicago Underground Orchestra
:: “Seqy Solo” - Sam Prekop
:: “Rye 2″ (”Bye Annie, Bye Joe, Bye Michael, Bye Jake” in iTunes) - El Ten Eleven
:: “Potala” - Motohiro Nakashima
:: “3+4″ - El Ten Eleven
:: “Hot Cakes” - El Ten Eleven
:: “Magic Step” - Sam Prekop
:: “And Then Patterns” - Kieran Hebden/Four Tet
:: “Pelican Narrows” - Daniel Snaith/Caribou
:: “Shine” - The Album Leaf
:: “Fanshawe” - El Ten Eleven

All the El Ten Eleven songs are available in iTunes. There are lots of Kim Hiorthøy songs in there, but the two “Helvetica” songs aren’t. They might have been composed just for the movie. The same is true of all the Sam Prekop tracks save “Magic Step” which you are able to purchase and download in iTunes. Finally, for those who are interested, here’s the playlist of songs from the Helvetica soundtrack available in iTunes. Just download, import to iTunes, and you’ll have your shopping list. You can also buy the songs using the iTunes iMix I made for the soundtrack. There are two listed in the iMix database (someone jacked my work, methinks) so make sure you get the complete one: the one with 17 rather than 16 songs.

MailFreezr

Posted in General Blogarrhea on October 23rd, 2007
by O. Quimby Melton

MailFreezr.com

This is an interesting online resource: an email “freezer.” Perhaps it’s just a way to collect email addresses for spammers; and with services such as Gmail, something like this is largely superfluous. Giving MailFreezr.com the benefit of the doubt, though, and assuming it’s an up-and-coming internet phenom like tired.com once was, I suppose MailFreezr.com’s impersonality and communality makes it interesting. I mean, why archive your emails locally or in Gmail when you can toss them in a virtual time capsule with, at present, 84 strangers?
The human instinct to archive always intrigues me. Even when redundancies exist (as is the case here), we always feel we can use one more repository. I wonder what Derrida and Walter Benjamin, archive theory experts, would say about such instances of internet “archive fever”?

Capitalism’s Revenge

Posted in Cultural Commentary on October 16th, 2007
by O. Quimby Melton

Che Guevara

While this and the last post might well suggest it, I’d resist notions that [v]ocabulary has gone Red as St. Nick at a labor riot. The various ways folks have marked the 40th anniversary of Che Guevara’s death do command attention, though, and make me think about related issues. So here I am: back on the Commie tip.
There’s a new book slamming Guevara with the not-too-subtle title Exposing the Real Che Guevara: And the Useful Idiots Who Idolize Him and Guerrilla: an upcoming Steven Soderbergh bio pic starring Benicio Del Torro as Che. And of course, there are those ubiquitous t-shirts worn by suburban white kids who almost certainly have no idea who the man on their shirt is and: (a) how radically he differs from the sports and music stars populating their other t’s and (b) how radically similar he is to Augusto Pinochet, Alberto Fujimori, Manuel Noriega, and, of course, Fidel Castro. That t-shirts with these figures on them would likely sell just as well illustrates the dangerous gap in knowledge driving the Che phenom.
Though movies like The Motorcycle Diaries have done a good job of establishing him up as such, most folks who know anything about Guevara know that he was a brutal “freedom” fighter and not a Kerouac-esque Latin beatnik: freedom of course meaning “as long as you believe in my vision of it, I won’t torture you, burn your home, sodomize your wife, and kill your family … at least not right away.” I do think it’s fair to see the young Guevara as a Lord Byron sort of political adventurer and Romantic mercenary. Before his ideals were hardened into gunmetal and tyranny, I think he would have been a great deal of fun to hang out with. He was even a passable writer. But the whole of a life makes the man; and were Guevara to have been active decades later and perhaps associated with a less effective revolución, he would have likely found himself at The Hague rather than immortalized on the greatest American commodity-fetish of them all: the t-shirt.
“Been there, killed that, got the t-shirt.” “My friend Fidel started a revolution, and all he sent me was this stupid t-shirt.” — parodies of the situation write themselves. But most interesting to me is a certain irony about the merchandising of the Che brand. Obviously, for all his faults Che was a dedicated Marxist revolutionary; and as such, I doubt if he would have agreed with American-style branding and consumerism. Yet, there he is alongside Dolce and Gabbana, Quicksilver, and sports paraphernalia: branded, sold, manufactured by poor workers in third world countries, the proceeds supporting an already moneyed (petit) bourgeois. Classic.
Certainly, I understand that Capitalism is an incredibly brutal economic structure that is indeed built on the blood of a management-oppressed labor-force. This sentiment isn’t just a cliche. It makes wage-slaves of us all and has, in its late consumerist phase, turned us into money-grubbing, trinket-obsessed sheep. But echoing Churchill’s sentiments about Democracy, it’s the worst system except for all the other systems.
Interestingly enough, Marx is often criticized for having radically underestimated Capitalism’s ability to adapt and evolve. Like a hungry white blood mass, it engulfs other systems and bends them to its will. Better than any nuclear warhead, American capital generation brought the Soviet to collapse. And modern China, titularly Communist, has ultimately been unable to resist Capitalism’s siren song, it’s emerging markets a testament to Marx’s interpretive gaffe. Flexible and macrophagic as the slime from the Black Lagoon, Capitalism and liberal democracies work well and consume, appropriately enough, other economic systems that rise to challenge it.
And this is how I read the Guevara “brand”: as a testament to this peculiar ability of Capitalism’s to deftly and even duplicitously reconfigure a furious Marxist poster-boy like Guevara into a tame brand-lamb. Fetishized by an ignorant marketplace into a representative Capitalist commodity, manufactured in oppressive working conditions by the very workers Guevera, &tc. sought to empower, and paraded about on the chests of self-obsessed and individualistic American teenagers, those who hate Che Guevara need only buy and distribute as many t-shirts as they are able to spurn his memory. In this way, Capitalism took a dastardly but powerful revenge on Che Guevara and perhaps helped him find some form of hell-on-earth, some sort of punishment for his misdeeds.
Really, this irony does more than any Hague court could ever do to destroy the memory of a brutal dictator. As a result, I can almost hear Che screaming from the afterlife, “That’s not what I meant at all. That’s not who I was!”, his spectre clutching noiselessly and ineffectually at the chests of OC blondies whose perfectly engineered C-cups bear his idealized image.

Kim Jong Il: Renaissance Man

Posted in Cultural Commentary on October 5th, 2007
by O. Quimby Melton

Kim Jong Il

Kim Jong Il’s recent proclamation that he’s an “internet expert” seems strange considering that his country’s approach to the WWW makes internet-wary China look like Silicon Valley. Nevertheless, this is just one quirky area-of-expertise claimed by the DPRK dictator.
Rumor has it, he’s a somewhat of a Daffy Duck expert. He apparently possesses the world’s largest collection of items related to the speech-impaired anatide. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m not sure Looney Tunes have a place in classic Marxism. Seems a little decadent, but I guess that’s just how the Il rolls. I mean, for supposedly being ideologically opposed to individualism, the official story of his birth reads like the litany of a personality cult. And what about those shades, man? It looks like Jong Il snagged them off Bono when the rocker-turned-Nobel-Peace-Prize-hopeful turned around to give a starving North Korean a bowl of rice!
Jong Il is also apparently a James Bond aficionado. Thus, could reports of his offer to give up nuclear weapons in exchange for the role of a Bond villain be more than satirical?
On a related topic, there’s this quotation: “If I hadn’t gotten in to politics I would have liked to become a movie director or film critic.” I suppose by “getting in to politics,” Jong Il means to convey the reality that he was “born into a system of ideological fanaticism and ascended to the tyrannical office held by his father.” Things do get lost in translation, after all. But having read about Jong Il’s acute interest in film and his history of writing film criticism, I keep waiting on some renegade press to publish a collection of his essays. I think that a publisher could take and translate whatever essays exist and join these with a few newly commissioned pieces on recent films to make a right intriguing text.
New Directions, Common Ground, Verso - with the right marketing campaign, this text could be a real money-maker. Moreover, it would be a fascinating cultural artifact. And to those who would decry giving a brutal dictator a legitimate outlet and, in this way, glorifying him, I wouldn’t worry so much. He does a fine job of glorifying himself and asserting himself on the world’s stage without a Western book contract. In this respect, the text would be negligible. I mean, what’s a collection of essays alongside a psycho with nuclear bombs? Not much.
Also, for the real die-hard Marxist (intellectual and political), Jong Il fits into a tradition of “intellectual” leadership interested in writing essays and academic tomes on all sorts of aesthetic and political topics. Stalin, Lenin, Mao, Guevara, Trotsky and others all wrote essays and books to support and further the aims of Marxism. Like Jong Il, they did so as they practiced political leadership roles. It seems, then, the leftist press is really missing out on the contemporary version of this Marxist tradition.
Consider: could you really tell your Red babies that you missed out on recording Jong Il’s thoughts on Bowfinger and Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion? Would they ever forgive you if you didn’t encourage him to record the contemporary Marxist interpretation of Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle with all its worker alienation issues and fetishization of commodities (in this case, delicious little hamburgers)? To me, Jong Il’s film essays belong alongside Trotsky’s Art and Revolution and Lenin’s “Imperialism, the Highest State of Capitalism” as part of the tradition of Marxist political literature. All it would take to make this a reality is a publisher with enough chutzpah to pursue this project.

I stand by ready to edit.

The Mad One

Posted in Cultural Commentary on October 4th, 2007
by O. Quimby Melton

Jack Kerouac

Here’s an interesting article that hopefully bears evidence of things to come. I suspect not. If the On the Road scroll’s US-tour didn’t pop the novel and its author back int the critical limelight, the half-century of its publication will likely go unnoticed. But hope springs eternal nevertheless. When it comes to the Beats and On the Road especially, I’m always hoping that the up-and-coming generation of critics will finally give the writers of the 1950s some serious attention.

I know that idolizing Kerouac and On the Road is right up there on the State U undergraduate list of musts with Bob Marley posters, Che Guevara t-shirts, 15lbs of fat, shaggy hair, and Grateful Dead stickers. Including him on a blog and proclaiming the fact that he and it are overlooked seems even more cliche. Nevertheless, I would argue the Eisenhower counter-culture is even more revolutionary than the 1960s Flower kids. They had more of an uphill battle. Standing up to widespread gender and racial tyranny and an obviously flawed political war is one thing. Necessary and admirable for certain. But facing down the Greatest Generation just home from WWII, shoving neo-Romanticism in their faces, calling the Boomers soulless and bourgeois after so powerful, popular, and “right” a war? Even for the “mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time,” that takes guts and passion. You gotta really want it to show up Mr. Cleaver and General Patton. Who is LBJ in comparison?

At the very least, Kerouac, Corso, and Ginsberg are the Blake, Wordsworth, and Coleridge to the Byron, Shelly, and Keatses of the ’60s. Is there any more direct connection than that between William S. Burroughs and Thomas Pynchon? What about that between the Beat prose writers’ emphasis on reportage and Hunter S. Thompson’s various fears and loathings? All the drug stuff and chemical expansions of the mind? Like their Romantic forbears one hundred and fifty years earlier, the Beats (benzedrine) and early Jazz musicians (heroin) put that into action; and not since Emerson’s day had the northeast been flooded with as much Eastern thought and lit as the Beats imported. George Harrison, eat your heart out.

Likely, the two are just separate decades of the same phenomenon. Nevertheless, I like the Beats better. If for no other reason, they dressed classier and listened to better music.

An avid lover of the Beats (the narrative more than the lyrics) and early Jazz, I’ve always felt that I would be professionally derelect to make my enthusiasm known among my peers. Certainly, there are few graduate classes taught on the Beats, and one would quickly be viewed with suspicion if s/he wrote a seminar paper on them. Most lit profs I’ve known are steeped in a European-focused sensibility handed down to them and their mentors by the East coast, Ivy establishment and their Midwestern wannabe colleagues. Why teach Sinclair Lewis when you grew up in Minnesota, right? Continental aesthetics, Thomas Mann, and Walter Benjamin are so exotic in comparison and really help legitimize that PhD to the folks back home.

Because of this prevailing notion (Joyce and Woolf over Faulkner, Camus over Hemingway, Balzac over Dreiser), Kerouac, &tc. really miss out in English Departments, even in departments that have strong Americanist presences. This is a shame because I’m not sure that since Whitman has American lit “yawlped” so beautifully and so convincingly. When I read Kerouac, I just “feel” American. I mean, if I needed to explain to some snooty Parisian what it means to be an American: I’d give him/her Leaves of Grass and On the Road and consider the case closed. Movement, space, consumption, self-obsession: that’s who we are, monsiuer, and daddy Jack and papa Whitman taught me it was ok.

912 Info and Online Resources

Posted in Bauhaus: the '68 Porsche 912 on September 28th, 2007
by O. Quimby Melton

Bauhaus, the Porsche 912

When I took my little joy ride to California, I had just gotten Bauhaus back from Carl’s Place here in Las Vegas. He needed an extensive oil change and an updated once-over by a vintage Porsche specialist. As I’ve suggested before, the super nice folks at CP are the best in town.
Based on the list that resulted from this inspection, I’ve set about completing a new series of projects to further restore and generally maintain the 912. I thought other novice 912 and even 356 owners might benefit from what I found over the last few days. So here goes:
First, I mentioned in an earlier post that the dash of my 912 needs repairing. The barbaric previous owner cut a hole out of the dash to make way for a tacky Pioneer tape deck. After removing the unit, I’ve been at a loss as to how to find the proper metallic wainscoting to cover the hole. I first went to Home Depot and found some sheet metal squares that I thought would work. Unbrushed and uncut, though, the 8in x 2 5/8in strip I was able to isolate just didn’t do the trick. I found this site today, though: OnlineMetals.com. They specialize in small orders and custom cuts of a range of sheet metals. They have a brushed stainless option that I think might work nicely. Once/If I get word back from them, place the order, and successfully make the repair, I’ll post pictures. All in all, though, this might be a good resource for all sorts of specialized metal trim needs. At the very least, Bauhaus can’t be the only senior Porsche out there with damaged dash wainscoting so it’s a good link to get out to the community.
Second, I need to bleed the brake lines. Having done a great deal of research, I think the Motive Products Power Bleeder is the best DIY way to complete the process, especially if you don’t have access to shop air. I ordered the European Power Bleeder model. The Black Label one would work too, but I’m a cheapskate and didn’t want to pay for the aluminum cap. I also don’t need 5 feet of hose. The way I figure, that’s just more length for the fluid to travel on its way to the reservoir. This might be nice for checking for air and impurities, but I figured I’d be ok with the shorter hose. We’ll see.
Also, it was tough to define what sort of brake fluid I need to use in the 912: DOT 3, 4, or 5. Without an original manual, all I have to go by is the cap on the fluid reservoir which reads, “Nur spezial bremsflüssigkeit verwenden,” or “Only use special brake fluid.” Based on lots of reading and especially Dave’s Porsche 912 Page (a great resource for all things 912), it seems the best brake fluid to use is ATE Super Blue Racing Brake Fluid. It’s a DOT 4 fluid so likely any DOT 3 or 4 will work just fine. After checking several of the auto parts stores here in town and online, the only place I could find this particular fluid was Amazon who lists it for a retailer named CDOC: a racing and performance materials warehouse. It’s not terribly expensive, and what I’ve read leads me to believe it will take about 1.5L of fluid to flush the whole system.
Finally, it seems I need to replace the fuel filter in Bauhaus. I had some trouble tracking down exactly which fuel filter to use in the Bosch electric fuel pump. Here’s the style that seems like the right one: a Hastings one at CarStuff.com and the Beck/Arnley one I actually ordered from Amazon. I had no preference in this case except to pay one shipping charge rather than two.
In addition to completing the projects discussed in this post, there are several other projects I need to tackle including adding a more elegantly integrated sound system into the 912 and restoring the (thankfully) original Fuchs alloys. Meaning to chart my progress more directly and hoping share experiences with and get input from the 912/356 community, I’ve just added a “Bauhaus: the ‘68 912” category to [v]. I’ll post relevant info, pictures, links, and experience in this category as it comes available.

Funeral Song

Posted in Overheard Utterances on September 28th, 2007
by O. Quimby Melton

Though I hope the day is a long time in coming, I guess I realized recently what song I want played at whatever memorial service I’m afforded. Cycling endlessly through his/her iTunes library, one’s bound to associate all sorts of songs with all sorts of memories, eventualities, and situations.

This is a strange thing to realize and share, I guess, but here it is nevertheless. And I apologize for the truly horrific Christmas-esque intro and conclusion appended to this version of Van Morrison’s “Into the Mystic,” but it’s the only embedable version of the song I could find.